GAYLE GREENE WATKINS (1992 – 1994): DAYS OF HEAVEN

It was to be the first anniversary of our marriage. My husband Larry, a Kansan born and bred, was teaching at K.U. and I, a transplant from the theatre world of New York City was trying to figure out who I was in this new life.

Just around that date, a Diocesan retreat led by Bishop Smalley was announced, and so, having been nudged by something I couldn’t explain, I talked Larry into spending our anniversary on a retreat at a religious community of Sisters just over the border in Missouri.  During one of the sessions, the bishop spoke about Spiritual Direction as a vocation.  At those words, my heart leapt.  I was being called to the vocation of Spiritual Direction! 

Stunned by this summons, and trying not to shake, I asked the bishop, “Where does one receive such training?”

“General Seminary,” he said.  And I blurted out inanely, “Where is that?” 

“In New York”, he said.  All I could think of at that moment was Union Seminary.  “You mean on the upper west side?”  He smiled, “Gayle, in Chelsea.”  And I knew exactly where the Seminary was: how I had looked wonderingly at its buildings with their solid strength.  Dear Lord, I’m going there!

And I did.

In all the years I spent in a vital connection to the seminary, first as student and then in my work there, I never felt my being a woman made any difference as to how I was received or perceived, for that matter!

I was identified by Dr. Margaret Guenther, Director of the Center for Christian Spirituality, in the following way: standing in the little kitchen of the Center, with her assistant, Pamela Barnett, and seeing this 50 something year old woman coming up the walk of the Close remarked, “Well, she’s come to the right place.”  How did she know?  I don’t remember ever having met her before that fatal day! I do remember that I was meeting with “directees” by the end of that first year.  I stayed on after graduation as her assistant, and then as Assistant Director of the Center.   

The small miracle of my transformation happened day-by-day as I was blessed with classes taught by incomparable scholars; day-by-day with worship in the Chapel of the Good Shepherd to which I commuted every morning from our apartment on the Upper East Side. 

One of the biggest surprises in my days at General was the ease in which I was able to bring together my earlier experiences with theatre and Christian Spirituality.  With Margaret’s help and blessing, I initiated a theatre workshop for students and families on the close called “Acting from the Center” as a program of the Center for Christian Spirituality.  We met in the Close at Seabury Bottom, and on Friday nights: “The Poetry Café,” with members including faculty, dramatizing poetic works along with scenes from plays to an invited public beyond the Seminary.

Amazingly this led to an evening called T.S. Eliot at the Poetry Cafe, and among the performers were Prof. Frederick Shriver, and Prof. Richard Corney!

I was, at his invitation, teaching a course with Prof. Shriver, my thesis adviser, which included the works of Eliot. This, in turn, led to his bestowing upon me the great honor of directing the magnificent Four Quartets, an event celebrating Fred’s many years of teaching at General and his coming retirement, to which the whole community of General Seminary and the public was invited!

But it was the wise and loving influence of Margaret Guenther which made the greatest difference in shaping the person I was to become.  It was her incredible “unflappability” which impressed me most as we worked together.  No matter what the crisis, large or small, she dealt with it calmly, even at times with her wonderful sense of humor.  She was a true diplomat in some very uncomfortable situations many in which I was present as an equal. She would later call me her “partner in crime!”  Margaret Guenther, an important spiritual mentor and dear friend, became for me, the model of how to live and engage with all kinds of people.

These beloved memories express some of the many “Days of Heaven” which made up my life at General Seminary. Writing this reflection has helped me to understand more than ever how important a role those short years continue to play in the sacred task of becoming the person God has created me to be!